Limbo

I was talking to someone at the weekend who is living in limbo.  She needs to look for a job but plans to move to a different area so feels like there's not much point in going down that route while she is where she is but on the other hand, she has no idea when she will be in a position to move to where she plans to be.

When it comes to limbo, I can relate.  I have been in New Zealand almost 3 years now and I still feel like I'm in limbo.  Initially it was because we were living somewhere we did not plan to stay long term.  When we moved to the town we live in now it was because we were renting.  When we bought a house it was because it needed renovations.  When the renovations were complete (or as complete as they are likely to be for a while) it was because I wasn't working.  Now I am working, the house is sort of done, the kids have settled well at school so why do I still feel like I am in limbo?  Is it just a feeling that never goes away when you live in a country that you are not from and can't see yourself staying in forever?  Do I need to embrace my life here, pretend everything is as it should be, sort of fake it till you make it as it were?  I've decided to claim a piece of the house for myself, to make my own little area where rates bills, shopping lists and pieces of lego are not welcome.  Where I can stick up things I have ripped out of a magazine rather than leave them in a crumpled heap at the bottom of my handbag.  As steps forward go, it's a baby step I'll grant you but even the person with the longest stride started out taking baby steps.

 

 

 

 

    

A change is as good as a rest

I've been struggling to post on the blog.  Sometimes it is a lack of time, sometimes a lack of motivation.  Sometimes I can't think of anything worth writing/reading.  I have an empty house for probably the next hour so I had a choice to make.  Do I tidy up, get all the niggly little jobs that will make my week run smoother done?  Do I sew the cushion cover I have been intending to sew for the last 3 months?  Do I get a head start on prepping dinner?  Or do I go the other way.  Do I opt to ignore the little tune the washing machine makes when the load is finished?  Do I chose to believe that all the little jobs will get done eventually and if they don't then its not the end of the world.

While making a cup of tea I spotted this quote on my fridge "You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water" - Rabindranath Tagore.  So I decided to change my perspective.  To believe that what I had to say was worth writing/reading.  I cleared some space on the desk in the spare room and de-camped from the dining room table which is where I normally write.  I am currently facing a blank wall which I am choosing to use to my advantage.  This position allows me to ignore the bed I have just stripped which needs to be remade.  Out of sight, out of mind is a very useful thing.  In time, I may decide to stick up some pictures but for now I am using the blank wall as a way to de-clutter my mind and focus on this post (if only for a couple of minutes).  I'm hoping my change of perspective will get the flow flowing but only time will tell. 

The couch and beyond

I've always been more of a book person than a magazine person but lately I have noticed that during the day, either my attention span or my available time is more suited to a magazine article than a chapter of a book.  Magazines filled with the latest celebrity gossip or fad diet hold no interest.  I like a magazine that I read with a notebook by my side.  The notebook being for jotting down websites to visit, books to read and things to investigate more.  My current favourites are Good and Mindfood.  I've been reading Good for a couple of years now and like the mix of environmental topics, recipes, things to make and do, ethical shopping etc. but Mindfood is starting to overtake it, rapidly becoming a fast favourite.  My mother got me a subscription for my birthday so once a month I get a nice surprise in my postbox.  The bookmark included in every issue is genius - how has no other magazine thought of this before?  So I am hitting the couch armed with a cup of tea and the latest issue.  Who knows where it will take me?

Hello darkness my old friend

Autumn is here with a vengeance.  Whilst I am not a fan of the early onset of evening, I am a HUGE fan of the colours, food, weather and of course clothing associated with all things autumnal.  I have just happily put away my summer linens and replaced them with my cosy cardigans and comfy boots.  As someone who burns easily and would rather not join the appalling NZ skin cancer statistics, I spend my summers liberally doused in greasy sunscreen, chasing the shade.  No more though, soon I will able to kick through piles of brightly coloured dried leaves on a crisp autumn afternoon.  I will dine on apple and cinnamon muffins and butternut squash with lashings of bacon and garlic.  I will curl up on the couch with a good book and a soft cosy blanket. 

Not quite as extreme as summer or winter, autumn is my kind of season.