Get Up, Stand Up

I'm annoyed with myself.  I encountered something that really annoys me and I didn't say anything.  I was standing watching a group of young kids playing soccer (well running around in the vicinity of a ball would probably be a more accurate description).  There were other parents/interested parties also standing round forming a small group.  Two little boys were standing at the far end of the pitch chatting, completely oblivious to the game going on down the other end.  One of the adults remarked that the two boys seemed to be having a great time.  A man who regularly makes  racist/sexist/homophobic/generally offensive comments said "Well as long as they are not kissing" to which one of the fathers replied "If he was he would quickly feel my boot up his arse" (one of the little boys was his son).  This exchange annoyed me on several levels:

- Why would you automatically assume two five year old boys chatting would start kissing?
- What would it matter if they did?
- Why would you chose to kick your five year old son if they kissed another boy?
- Why didn't I stand up for what I believe in and call them out on their homophobic and frankly ridiculous conversation?

Part of why I didn't say anything is that I have a connection to the person who made the kissing remark.  I've had words with him on other subjects and it has made life decidedly awkward.  However I think that the main reason I didn't say anything is that I have a tendency to avoid confrontation.  I don't like to be the centre of attention or draw undue focus to myself.  You know how some people say their wedding day was the most special day of their life?  Well I found it quite disconcerting to have everyone focussed on me and my every move. 

It's not really a good enough excuse though is it?  If no one calls people on remarks like this is it giving the message that casual homophobia is ok?  It's not ok and I have resolved that next time I am in this sort of a situation (and unfortunately I don't think it will be long before it happens) that I will stand up and say something.    

   
 

Brooklyn

I went to see the film Brooklyn last night.  Big mistake.  Don't get me wrong, it's a great film but for the day after St. Patrick's Day it was too close to the bone for me.  The scene when she was on the boat with hundreds of others waving goodbye to their nearest and dearest, many of whom would never see each other again really got me.  Although it's obviously fiction, it's based on all the millions of families who went through the trauma of losing their loved ones to a life across the sea, like a death in the family without the closure.

And the phone call to her mother - I was in bits.  Sad and all as it was and despite the fact that I now know what happens, I am definitely adding this book to my to read list.  I find that film adaptations are generally not as good as the book and despite making for a heart wrenching Friday night, I did enjoy the film so the book can't fail to impress.

   

The wearing of the green

Today is the day that people all around the world, from the biggest cities to the smallest villages put on their green and celebrate all that it means to be Irish.  For some that means raising a glass of Guinness or some green concoction, for others it means thinking of long lost relatives who left all they knew behind to strike out for new horizons.  For me, although I am very far from home, it gives me a sense that I am not the only one, that there are other people just like me, wishing they were back home even just for this one day. 

To all my fellow Irish people who find themselves far from home on St Patrick's Day - wear your green with pride, put on your biggest smile and marvel at the fact that our tiny little country inspires people in places all over the world to come together to celebrate and paint the town green.

Focus Schmocus

I follow a couple of blogs in what can best be described as a sporadic fashion.  I tend to not read them for weeks at a time and then binge read multiple posts at once.  These other blogs tend to have a central focus but wander off from time to time on tangents - which is fine by me, I like a good tangent now and then.

This blog doesn't have a focus or theme yet.  Maybe because I don't feel strongly enough about any one thing or maybe because I just haven't figured out what it is yet.  Do I need to set a topic and exam style - discuss?  Or should I continue on till the focus evolves organically?  Maybe it will just continue to be a series of posts of whatever happens to pop into my head, usually first thing on a weekend morning.  Week day morning thoughts tend to revolve around what needs to happen that day and whether or not I can afford to snooze for 5 more minutes.

 

Material Girl

I wouldn’t call myself a techno-phobe, more of a techno-couldn’t care less.  I will never be the early adopter of the latest iPhone/Google glass/whatever they come up next.  I was texting on my lunch break the other day and my co-workers (both male and very into technology) scoffed at my crappy phone.  I argued that as long as I could make calls, access the internet and sent free texts to my friends in Ireland, what more did I need from a phone?  I avoided getting a smart phone for a long time but having finally given in 3 years old, I will concede that they do make life more convenient.  I tend to be more of a laptop user anyway so maybe that’s why I have no interest in having a fancy, all the bells and whistles phone. 

I was thinking about this as I drove along in my distinctly average car.  I am perfectly happy with my car, it gets me where I need to go which is about as much interest as I can muster when it comes to cars.  I am the sort of person who when asked what type of car they have replies “a silver one”.  I don't wear expensive clothes, I'm not a big fan of shopping.  Now I'm not naïve enough to think that I am not a materialistic person.  In today's modern world it's very hard to live a life without things and I like a sparkly necklace as much as the next magpie. 

So what do I chose to spend my money on?  Well my bank statement makes for quite monotonous reading, I appear to be a creature of spending habit.  I am aware that the decisions I make as a consumer have consequences, albeit not huge ones.  I opt for the eco friendly version.  I try to shop local which can sometimes be a challenge in a small town with limited choices.  I ask myself "do I need this or do I want this?" before buying non essential items.  I remember my granny walking between various shops to buy things at the best price while doing her grocery shopping to make her limited budget stretch as far as possible.  Even if I won the Lotto (highly unlikely as I never, ever buy a ticket), I don't think I would be able to buy something without looking at the price tag.  I read an article in Good magazine yesterday about Child Labour Free clothing.  It is an initiative to allow those labels who make the decision not to use child labour in the various production aspects of their products, to become certified.  Labelling like this, whether it's for ethically produced clothing or SPCA approved eggs makes it easier for me the consumer to make an informed choice.  Ok so I am still going to look at the price tag for the clothes or the eggs but at least when I do make my choice it is with all the information at my finger tips.      

   

Brewing up a storm

 

As a self confessed control freak, the idea of doing this makes me break out in a cold sweat...

 

Wake up

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?  Where little niggly things build into major annoyances?  You have one of those days and it feels like the universe is conspiring against you.  "Poor me", you think.  "My life is so hard right now", you moan.

Then something big happens to someone else, something completely un-expected and life changing in a bad way and you come to your senses.  You wake up from the me, me, me pity party, the self absorbed fog clears and you realise that unlike you, some people have real problems.  Some people have big things to worry and fret over.  Some people are going through things you should count your lucky stars are not happening to you.

This week I am going to attempt to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, because no one knows what life is going to throw at them next.

    

ROMO

I don't have the fear of missing out, I have the reality of missing out and sometimes, when I least expect it, it hits me like a tonne of bricks.  It was a normal enough Sunday, pottering about doing stuff with the kids.  We went out to the lake for a couple of hours.  There is no phone coverage out there.  When we came back to civilisation my phone was hopping with missed calls, texts and facebook messages.  My brother and his partner got engaged in Ireland and they were trying to ring and tell me before it got plastered all over facebook or someone else spilled the beans.  Too late. 

I am really happy for them, they are a lovely couple.  I don't really care that I heard it from someone else first, chances are if I had been in Ireland I would have been in bed anyway.  I just wish that I could be there to celebrate with them in person, give them a hug, admire the ring, you know the usual stuff you do when people get engaged. 

Instead I am stuck in an unremarkable little town on the other side of the world, feeling like I am living someone else's life.  So I wallow for a bit, feel sorry for myself, have a cry.  Where does it get me though?  Absolutely nowhere, doesn't change my situation, doesn't do diddly squat.  I am more of a head down and get on with it sort of person and I have tried to get on with it (it being living in New Zealand) but how long is long enough?  I have been here 2 years and 7 months and I still feel like I could quite easily leave in the morning without a backward glance.  How long will it be till I feel like this is where I should be living?  Will I ever?