Girl Up - Laura Bates

I read a book review and if I like the sound of it, I put it on my to read list.  Sometimes it takes a while before I actually get my hands on the book so I have forgotten what it is about by the time I get it.  This was one of those books, but a quick glance at the blurb on the back cover told me all I needed to know.  How could I not be intrigued by a book that in it's own words contains "feminist limericks, colour-by-numbers genitalia and dancing vaginas"?

I liked this book.  It was an easy and informative read and made me think about things like everyday sexism (the author's other project) and the double standards that exist for women and men.  Since reading it, a couple of times my antenna has gone up as I picked up on a throwaway comment or an excuse given for a blatantly offensive aside.  I find I am noticing other things too, like the un-natural, could only exist in the land of photoshop body shapes pictured in magazines.  It would be laughable if it wasn't so prevalent. 

My challenge to myself is the next time I hear someone make a sexist remark I'm going to Girl Up and call them out on it.  The revolution starts here!

Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes

After my trip down memory lane with David Gray, I decided to do a bit more digging though my old cds and came across pure gold.  Violent Femmes and their self titled album brings back such a flood of memories.  It's not just the sing along, know all the words factor, it's the remembering of rushing onto the dance floor in Fibber Magee's when it came on, the getting ready for nights out in Sydney with Blister in the Sun and Add it up as our drink and screech along to soundtrack (our poor neighbours were completely justified in hating us).

Finding myself in a childless car recently, this was the perfect companion for a nondescript trip.  I arrived at my destination hoarse and happy, basking in the warm glow of musical nostalgia.   

Play Date Stress Disorder

So the play date seemed like a good idea when you arranged it but then you have a crazy busy day at work and you forget to get milk on the way to school and it's raining and when you get home the kids decide that running around the house screeching at the top of their voices is a good way to unwind.  Then the parent picking up is running late and the kid is playing up and doesn't want to leave and the dinner that you are in the middle of trying to cook starts to burn and still they haven't left and no homework has been done and you are trying to be nice and polite but inside you are really thinking...

JUST LEAVE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

 

 

White Ladder - David Gray

Last week I experienced the magic of putting on a cd that I hadn't listened to in years.  I realise from the get go that this will instantly age me.  Who "puts on a cd" these days when you can just click on Spotify and have a world of music at your finger tips.  Well my car is old and not Spotify compatible and I was driving through a forest with terrible radio signal so it was a cd or silence.  Most of my car journeys are 10 minutes max so in preparation for my hour long trip I had dug through some old cd cases for a bit of variety. 

What I got was a time machine back to the turn of the century (how I love being able to say things like this, makes me sound positively Victorian).  The year was 2000 and the cd was White Ladder by David Gray.  Is there a person in Ireland in the 35-45 year old age bracket who doesn't possess a copy of this cd?  I spent my trip singing along at the top of my voice to lyrics I had no idea I still remembered.  If you've got this cd, dust it off and sing it with me....Babylon!

 

Lego

What is it about Lego that makes it so appealing to children and adults alike?  I was never a huge fan of the masses of plastic toys that seemed to multiply in my house when I had children.  I opted for wooden versions where possible and when it wasn't possible I went for toys with an off switch.  When it comes to Lego though, I am perfectly happy to have bucket loads of the stuff (preferably kept in their buckets and not strewn all over the floor).  Of course like most parents, I have cursed Lego from a great height when a sharp piece has become lodged in my bare foot but for the most part I am a big fan. 

We had Lego at home when I was a child and I suppose happy childhood memories drew me to the first set of chunky Duplo I bought for my own children.  As they grew we moved on to the smaller sized Lego and were lucky enough to inherit a large box to get us going.  Birthdays and Christmases have added to the collection.  While the box sets are always popular, the model on the box only seems to get made once or maybe twice before the bricks are consigned to the great big jumble of the Giant Lego Tub, never to be re-united in quite that configuration again. 

One of the main things I liked about Lego was that it was a toy for everyone.  It wasn't a girl toy or a boy toy, it was just a toy that anyone of any age could play with.  As a parent of one girl and one boy, it annoys me no end to see colour coded toy aisles and marketing campaigns aimed at forcing children and parents to think they need to have gender specific versions of toys.  Even before my son was born, I tended to opt for the non-pink version of toys for my daughter.  I have tried to encourage both kids to play with all the toys we have available and let them decide themselves what they like to play with. 

When Lego brought out the Friends pink & purple sets aimed primarily at girls I was so disappointed.  It just seemed like a really cynical marketing move.  I get that there presumably was a gap in the market as it seems to have been pretty successful but I just wish they had figured out a different way to do it.  Why should boys get the sets where they play with firefighters and superheroes when girls get the sets with the puppy grooming parlour and figures whose only job seems to be accessorising their outfits?  Even the Elves set is better as at least they are characters in their own world.

I point blank refuse to buy it, which sometimes makes me unpopular but it just grates to support such blatant segregation.  We do have some of the Friends stuff but only because my daughter was given it as presents (mostly from people who don't know me that well and have obviously not yet heard my anti pink Lego rant).  Perhaps that makes me a supporter by association but I'm not militant or rude enough to force my personal principles on others, particularly not in the middle of a small child's birthday party.  So for now I will continue my little boycott by refusing to buy the Friends sets and sneakily hiding all the pink blocks down the bottom of the tub....

Tips from the pros

When I started this blog and was trying to decide on a name, I googled various blogs and websites which shared the name.  One of them (based not too far from me) had the following advice which I have been trying to embrace (with thanks to Sarah from awaywithwords): 

1. Believe that you’re interesting
This has been the trickiest one for me.  The last three years have seen my confidence at it's lowest for a long, long time.  I didn't realise how much of my identity and self confidence was tied up with what I did for a living or more accurately the fact that I was in paid employment.  When I first moved here I chose not to work so I could settle the kids into life in a new country and starting a new crèche and school.  Once they were all set it became the case that there were no jobs available in my field so I was out of work but not by choice.  I have nothing but admiration for people who choose to stay at home with their children.  I have nothing but empathy for people who have that choice foisted upon them.  It can be the least fun, most tiring, under appreciated way to spend a day.  Of course there are plus sides too but it just wasn't for me.  Anyway, I digress.  I started blogging as a way to get my brain working again.  I started with a private blog for my family and friends, a nice soft audience if you will.  Then earlier this year I decided I was going to go public, a process I found very nerve wracking.  I channeled by inner 25 year old (the most confident age I can remember being, at 21 you think you know it all but you know nothing, at 23 you realise what an idiot you were at 21, by 25 you have things sussed), took a deep breath and hit post.  Most of the time I post whatever happens to come into my head.  Once you stop analysing everything and believe that you have a voice worth hearing it becomes much easier to write.

2. Be realistic
I had great intentions initially of posting every few days but then a week or two would go by with nothing and I would feel guilty.  So rather than adding another thing to my to do list and making the blog into a chore, I figured I would just post when the mood took me and if it didn't well sure what harm. 

3. Carry a notepad
I am a fan of notebooks as a rule so this was an easy suggestion to adopt.  Countless times ideas have popped into my head and I would think, oh I'll remember that and post it later.  Later would arrive only to find me blankly trying to recall what gem I had come up with earlier to no avail.  I keep one beside the bed as I often have random thoughts first thing in the morning while I am trying to psych myself up to get out of bed (it can take a while these frosty mornings).

4. It doesn’t have to be a novel
This is a really helpful tip, particularly when trying to get started.  Knowing that I can keep it short and sweet conversely seems to give the floodgates permission to open.

5. Love your blog
Once I chilled out about how regularly I posted, I started to enjoy the blog more.  When it became something I could do rather than something I felt I had to do, it became easier to commit time to it.

6. Share it
This was another hard one for me, tied up with the confidence thing I suppose but there's really not much point in having a public blog if no-one sees it. 

Book Club

I am usually more of a fiction reader but lately I seem to be hitting up the non-fiction shelves.  Not sure if it's that the fiction I am reading is not really holding my attention or if I have just stumbled onto books whose topics interest me.  I always wondered at people who could read two books at once, probably because I presumed them both to be fiction.  Somehow at the moment I have three books on the go, which is very unlike me. 

When I was younger I always finished every book I started, even if I didn't particularly enjoy it, it was like a point of principle.  Then I realised that life is way too short for me to read all the books I actually want to read so why would I waste time on books that I didn't enjoy?  Now I'm pretty ruthless.  If a book is not grabbing me after the first few chapters, back down the library returns chute it goes.  I'm also a pretty accomplished skim reader (yes, yes the clouds tumbled overhead like mascara stained cotton balls, get on with it).

I'm thinking of starting a book club but need to settle on a few books I would like to read first.  At home I used to get my book wish list from reviews I would read in the weekend papers but the books that get reviewed in my local paper here rarely make it onto my wish list.  So I'm looking for recommendations.  What was the last good book you read? 

  

Talking about book clubs reminded me of something I saw recently on Waterford Whispers which cracked me up.  I do plan to read some books in book club, honestly!!