ROMO

I don't have the fear of missing out, I have the reality of missing out and sometimes, when I least expect it, it hits me like a tonne of bricks.  It was a normal enough Sunday, pottering about doing stuff with the kids.  We went out to the lake for a couple of hours.  There is no phone coverage out there.  When we came back to civilisation my phone was hopping with missed calls, texts and facebook messages.  My brother and his partner got engaged in Ireland and they were trying to ring and tell me before it got plastered all over facebook or someone else spilled the beans.  Too late. 

I am really happy for them, they are a lovely couple.  I don't really care that I heard it from someone else first, chances are if I had been in Ireland I would have been in bed anyway.  I just wish that I could be there to celebrate with them in person, give them a hug, admire the ring, you know the usual stuff you do when people get engaged. 

Instead I am stuck in an unremarkable little town on the other side of the world, feeling like I am living someone else's life.  So I wallow for a bit, feel sorry for myself, have a cry.  Where does it get me though?  Absolutely nowhere, doesn't change my situation, doesn't do diddly squat.  I am more of a head down and get on with it sort of person and I have tried to get on with it (it being living in New Zealand) but how long is long enough?  I have been here 2 years and 7 months and I still feel like I could quite easily leave in the morning without a backward glance.  How long will it be till I feel like this is where I should be living?  Will I ever?